Forbidden Fruit
by Alexandra K3S
Summary: She knew It was a wrong love that would erode her inside with guilt and misery, but she could not help it. Even after a thousand years, she would still love him and only him...
1. Chapter 1

_**This is a very wrong story with wrong emotions and a wrong couple to pick. I'm mentally sane and not emotionally twisted in anyway but I love to write twisted stories. So you're warned. If you don't like how dark it is, you can just stop reading it. But if by any chance you like it, please give me some comments so I can make my stories better. This is on going and I hope to finish it real soon to come back to another long story I had abandoned more than 4 years ago….**_

* * *

_**Forbidden Fruit**_

"I don't get you at all, Sakura"

Quirking a thin eyebrow in mere annoyance, the reason the blonde teenager interrogated her pink-haired best-friend was just because she, in the blonde's opinion, had made one of the most idiotic decisions in her life.

"You turned him down without a second thought? Are you out of your mind?"

Clapping the door of her personal cabinet without so much care about the frustrating clanging of metal on metal, the medic turned to look at her friend with dull eyes:

"What do I suppose to do when I don't love him? And for your information, Sachiko, I'd thought about it for this whole week, it's not an impulsive verdict or anything"

The blonde seemed to have no intention of backing off as she narrowed her eyes and remarked sarcastically:

"You don't say the same thing when he made moves towards you last month. Sakura, Wake up, you can't be like this for your whole life! And he's Uchiha Itachi, who do you expect for more? Your…"

"I don't know what you're talking about" – snapped the rosy-haired girl. She already knew the direction of their little talk and before the blonde had time to spit out things that for all her life, Sakura was so dread to hear so she cut it short rudely:

"If you continue to talk about it, Pig, I wouldn't mind never seeing or talking to you again."

Turning pat on her knee-length heels, the pink-haired girl decisively strode away, leaving an angry half-opening-mouth girl who never learnt when to shut up:

"You can't run from it forever, Forehead, you just turned down a golden chance to be freed from him, you idiot"

Trying to ignore the piercing words, Sakura speeded up and ran away from the deserted hospital in one late Friday's afternoon. From the deepest part in her heart, she knew the blonde just said the truth. She could not run from it any more – the terrible, agonizing truth that always made her heart ache painfully since she was thirteen.

* * *

Of all the children at the same age in Konohagakure, Hatake Sakura was always considered as one of the most mature and privileged ones as she had accomplished so many things that a kunoichi could only dream of at the tender age of sixteen: She was a jounin with a firs-rate medic ability that was trained and praised numerously by the fifth Hokage, who considered her as her most beloved grand-daughter; she was the indulged god-child of the sixth Hokage, who seemed to love her even more than his own look-alike sons and daughter; she was one of the best in her school both academically and physically ever since she was three. Friends were fond of her because she was kind and thoughtful, except for her terrifying temper, which could make even the sixth Hokage shiver shamefully at times. And she always knew who made her become the person she was today – her father – the illustrious Copy Ninja – Hatake Kakashi - who was nothing to her but a perfect dad since the first day she could remember things.

Yes, Sakura had them all but deep in her soul, she thought she had nothing.

_Absolute nothing_

She never actually felt happiness from the time when "it" appeared in her mind. To be more accurate, she only suspected of her difference from other kids at first but ever since she could truly define what "it" was, she disgusted herself to no end. It was an undeniable fact that no one could actually live a happy life if you disgust yourself no matter how privileged you seemed to be on the outside.

She had tried all her best to burry it deep in her soul, tormented her mind to throw away the insane thoughts, jammed her head to forget about it but then she came home, it returned to her, full force, unrelentingly and wickedly. It was always there to toss her down the bottom of a pitch-black hell where she could never find a way out.

Because he was there with his relaxed posture on the couch, smiling at her and that was all it took her to forget about her mental struggle.

* * *

The smile was nothing but fatherly, she knew it. Always knew it since what else could it be when it was from her own father? He cared about her in the dearest and most normal way a daddy could do while her distorted mind saw it in another light. Her heart always constricted achingly when she saw that smile and the heat already radiated from her cheeks. She had to stop being like this, she knew but Kami, he never gave her a damned rest. Looking sideway to the stair leading to the second floor, Sakura muttered with difficulty to the silver-haired man:

"Dad"

"You're early today, how's your work , Honey?"

"Like normal" – replying coldly, taking off the boots to avoid looking in her father's mask-less face, Sakura quietly strode to the stairs, clearly not sparing a moment for dad and daughter little chatting. Sensing his daughter's estranged attitude, Kakashi let out a small imperceptible sign and said gently:

"Go get changed quickly, honey, I've already done the dinner, all the dishes you like"

She may mutter a "Yes" but it was all lost to him since she quickly disappeared at the stairs with her hurried steps.

Things were all this awkward since the incident two months ago and he always wished that he would not do the same thing if he could turn back the time. He knew it. His daughter was closing her heart from him and he could do nothing about it because it was simply his fault.

The dinner rolled by in an airy blanket of tension and tediousness. They said nothing even when Kakashi had tried to lift the heaviness out of the atmosphere around them these days several times. No luck, Sakura just answered curtly and resumed her eating right after that. The strain was still there after the dinner was finished and quietly, Sakura did the clean-up while Kakashi was helping her to put some dishes into the washing bowl. She was not looking anywhere but the soapy sink as if it was much more interesting than talking to her own father.

"Are you mad at me, Sakura?"

A little taken aback by her father's sudden question, Sakura turned to look at him wide-eye and then swiftly looked away down to the washing basin again:

"No, I'm not"

"You're never good at lying, girl, so don't do it"

"When I say I'm not, this means I'm not, why can you just buy it, dad?" – she grumbled in annoyance and instantly hated herself for blaming her distress on a completely innocent father.

"I just can't. If you still hate me that much, you probably tell me. Sakura, we're family, why don't you just talk to me and we can fix it, dear?"

"Because we can't"

Sakura spat and glared at her dad while her hand together with the washing rag was balling into a fist. Only Kakashi's eye growed larger a fraction at his daughter's sudden outburst of anger, other than that he did not really give much away from his unruffled face. He however held her gaze in silence as if giving her a chance to explain herself of this abnormal behavior rather than vocalizing his own thoughts. Sakura lost it fast as boring into an unfathomable onyx eye was unnerving so she quickly looked away:

"There's nothing wrong with us, so why don't we just drop it, dad"

After a few seconds of stillness as if pondering whether to pursue this awkward conversation or just let it go, Kakashi finally said:

"Alright"

* * *

She had cried a lot on her bed many nights until she was too tired and fell asleep. She may still be crying in her sleep because when she woke up the next morning, her pillow cover was still holding the dampness blatantly under her touch. "It's ok to cry, Sakura, as long as you could resolve yourself to do something after your tears are dry, your tears could actually make you stronger" was what she was taught by her father all these years. "Living with strength and confidence, Sakura, you'll never regret it". She did all her best to make the man closest and dearest to her heart proud simply because she knew she was the only person in this whole world who could make him smile a true smile. Because he gave her everything, because he once said she was his everything, she was more than willing to do anything for him. But since when, she did not know, the promise she quietly made for him embraced another entirely different meaning.

She had kept it so well that no one suspected except for that night at a bar. When she drank like there was no tomorrow and her tear already flooded her wine when she disclosed her deepest secret. Because of that night she had reached the bottom of hell.

She was madly in love with her own father – Hatake Kakashi and she could never stop loving him.

* * *

Her dad did not talk much about her mother except for the fact that she was named after her. Knowing her dad, Sakura understood when to stop a conversation to prevent any unnecessary strict looks that could reduce most boys of her age (or adults) to nothing from him. However, curiosity and insolence still got the better of her sometimes, as she knew he had soft spots for her more than anyone else. So she probed him and tried to find out as much information as she could from this look-alike mother she never met. It was normal for the offspring to look like his or her parent but at least there must be something to tell them apart from each other in the facial areas. Just like Sachiko who looked so much like her mum had her dad's dark black eyes and her brother who looked just like his dad otherwise had his mother's blue eyes. The similarities between her and her mother were startling. Same hair, same height and nearly same outfits because she also loved wearing red just like her mum. The only very subtle difference was her mum looked a bit more feminine and more womanly than her. She did not know her maternal grandparents but she did not think they were first-classed ninja like her dad who was just second in strength (definitely not in wit) to the Hokage himself (but mainly because of his age, the Hokage was fourteen years his junior). They would not train her mother with combat skills and martial arts ever since she was two like her dad. They would definitely not throw her into icy cold water to train her how to swim and survive in the wild when she was five. The result was that Hatake Sakura was without doubt more tomboyish than her mother Haruno Sakura. Her mother also had this girly charm about her smile that made Sakura somewhat jealous because no matter how she looked at herself in the mirror she could not see any of that charisma coming through. But the more she looked at her mother, the more she realized she did not have anything from her dad side in her. She was naturally happy and extraverted when he was a bit of a cool-headed anti-social. She was very easily to be amused or angered when he was hard to be impressed. Her affection would be of that loud and exuberant nature when his was deep and subtle. She saw more of herself in the Sixth Hokage – Uzumaki Naruto than her real dad Hatake Kakashi. She wondered if her mother was exactly like that? There was too little about her that she knew. No one seemed to tell her much about her mother even when she pulled out many tricks from her sleeves such as the lip-pouting, face-sulking and ultimate puppy eyed looks. There was only one thing she knew for sure they all loved her mother deeply. How could they not when after so many years, they never forgot her birthday and her death day? From the little, scattered stories they revealed to her about her mother, they seemed to be so fond of her that it still pained them with her death after sixteen years. Her dad was especially tight-lipped about her mother even when she saw him looking at her picture many nights before he went to bed. She hardly ever saw him with another woman after all those years (except for a certain black curly-haired, ruby-eyed kunoichi who she did not want to think about). If it was not love then she did not know what it was anymore. He did speak very highly of her on occasions, stating that she was an extremely clever medic – a genius in her own right even. She was one of his students. He did not really say it but she could make a very good guess from one of the pictures on his nightstand. She was in the same team with uncle Naruto (Katsuya, Fuuko and Ryuuki's dad), Sasuke (Itachi's dad) and Sai (Sachiko's Dad). She was also the Fifth Hokage – Tsunade-baa-chan's apprentice. She did not know how her dad and her mum started their relationship but they were teacher and student and she was fourteen years younger than him and on top of that she died of childbirth at seventeen. It must have been very scandalous at that time. _Hell, it must have been scandalous at any time._ Sakura knew the pity stares some of the adults gave her when they thought she was not looking. Sachiko's mother was the worst. Sometimes she just got hugged all of a sudden from behind by this voluptuous woman then she told her "Forehead, I can't believe you're back". Knowing how she would feel if her best friend Sachiko passed away on her like that, Sakura did not mind her mother's somewhat lunatic reaction too much even when Mrs Ino's teary eyes directed at her were a bit of an overkill in her opinion.

_Sometimes she wondered whether she had a fair share of that scandalous trait from her mother as well._

It was definitely not normal to have all of these forbidden feelings…

If her dad was not Kakashi, may be it would not happen. Even though Sakura belonged to the élite circles of children at Konoha, whose parents were just as illustrious war veterans as any S-class criminals out there, her dad was considered (not only by her but her friends as well) as the coolest dad of all. He had this calm and mysterious air around him that intimidated and excited children and adults alike. Even when he was ancient with his age, he did not look that old with his lean, relaxed and athletic gait. Her friends would have no idea how young and handsome he was under that mask. He was forty-seven but he looked no older than thirty-five. Sakura did not think any other boys of her age, no matter how beautiful they were (like the Uchiha's brothers, Hyuga Kimura, Sarutobi Ryota), would possess the same manly magnetism her dad had. And It was just so sinful, so wrong thinking of her dad that way. Sometimes, she really wish if she could die…

She missed all the innocent times when he lifted her up from the ground, twirled her around to show her how proud he was of her with her shinobii's achievement. She missed their teases and easy conversations he just had with her and only her because he was not the type of person who liked to open up with anyone. She missed when she was being stubborn and rebellious, arguing with him for not understanding her, running away from home, then he just always knew where she was hiding and brooding and dragged her out of that hell-hole and made her laugh again in a matter of a few minutes later. She missed when they sparred with each other in the wood and she loved to impress him with her perfect chakra control. She missed when she was eavesdropping on him talking to the Hokage that he did not want to become any other genin team's teacher but hers because even when she was excellent, he still wanted to be there for her in her first few missions. She missed his kisses on her forehead before she slept. She missed how awkward and perturbed he looked anytime she asked him questions of sensitive topics about human anatomy she did not understand. She missed all of her silent but happy Christmases when she sat on his lap and insisted on waiting for Santa Claus even when she had yawned a hundred times while he patiently ruffled her hair with affectionate strokes. She missed how she got mad at him for over protecting her when they went on missions together and accused him of not trusting her enough and then he just shrugged her off without even explaining himself. She missed them so much that it hurt even further that these times may never come back again all because of her twisted mind.

* * *

_Three years ago…_

Tapping her foot on the ground impatiently, Sakura crossed her arm in front of her chest for the fourth time while her eyes flipped to the Konoha's big gate every three minutes:

"Do you see any of them?" – she asked the little purple haired boy sitting cross-legged on one of the column base again with growing irritation. She knew her question was futile since he could only see the same thing that she could from where he sat. If she had seen nothing, he would have seen nothing as well.

"Sakura-nee-chan, it's the fourth time you asked this question. Why are you so worried? They are the best jounins in our village, they'll be alright."

Said the boy with a tiny hint of annoyance in his voice, which was understandable because Sakura would feel the same way if she was at the receiving end of those repetitive questions. She just could not help it though. He was right and she knew she should not be worried but it had been two months and he had never gone away this long. Given that a little argument broke out between them before he went, she had all the mental reasons to be a tad more anxious about her father's whereabouts than usual. She knew life would not be like movies when bad things always happened to make people regret intensely about not being nice enough to the person you loved the most. But she could not shake off the bad omens creeping into her head at times. Ever since he went away, she had checked up on Uncle Naruto every few days for an update on his mission to the point that her beloved uncle had to teleport out of his office to hide from her anytime he heard just so much of her footsteps on the hallway leading to his office. Naruto never got mad at her and spoiled her so often that even his own kids were jealous of her. But they loved her like a big sister as well so their envy did not last long, considering Sakura was always an eager partner-in-crime with them in every prank they pulled out against their own father or other jounins. Their mum was too soft on them too so no wonder why they were all little monsters. Sakura loved Hinata-san too much to upset her so she just learnt to hide her cheekiness well in front of this loveliest lady in creation. She always thought her mum would be a lot like Hinata – so feminine, soft-spoken and maternal. And such a good cook too. It was not that Kakashi's food was not good, it was just pale in comparison to Hinata's noble and homey cuisine all rolled into one. She was freeloading with Uzumaki's family most of the time Kakashi went away on mission when she was smaller and they never minded that. Sakura was a good baby-sitter by the way. Well maybe a little _gang leader_ was a better description of her. But she seemed know how to stop before their pranks went too far and this little gang of three Uzumaki's kids did respect their gang leader a lot. Out of the three kids, Katsuya – the boy sitting a few arm lengths away from her now was the closest to her. Mainly because he was closest to her age, only one year younger and because he was very perceptive and subtle, a big contrast with his two younger siblings – Fuuko and Ryuuki – who were just like replicas of their father – loud and somewhat obnoxious. Katsuya took after his mother more than anyone in the house but he still held a certain level of hidden mischief and decisiveness inherited from his father. Aside from Sachiko, Sakura liked to spend time with him the most when they did not have classes or missions because he seemed to be able to detect her mood ranges very quickly and their intellect were sort of on par with each other. Katsuya's teacher was Yamato Tenzou – her father's kouhai from his time in ANBU who also dissipated for two months from this mission with Kakashi. That was the reason they were here waiting for their teachers to come back as soon as they received the news of their homeward journey.

"Why don't you just sit down here with me so you can put your limbs at rest for a while?" – Katsuya patted the cemented tile next to his seat while eyeing her expectantly. She was very ready to protest but decided otherwise and grudgingly slipped down next to him with a light thud.

"Alright, they are just so slow though" – she whined

"Well, knowing your dad, he must be the reason they are late" – Katsuya replied coolly before turning around to look at the gate again. She knew he was worried for them too but just did not want to show it.

"You're right, he's never the one sticking to schedule. But I hope this lateness doesn't mean they encounter an ambush or anything"

"Don't worry, they know how to cover their track well, if they said they'll be back today, it meant their mission was a success right?"

"Uhm" – Sakura responded with an ambiguous sound from her throat. She was not so sure anymore. Before her dad went away, she had begged him to make her his team's medic since she was very eager to have the very first S-class mission of her own. With 108 C-class, 51 B-class and 14 A-class missions, Sakura was ranked as the one of the best chuunins in Konoha's history. Naruto always having a soft spot for her agreed on letting her take a competency test and psyche test for the role. She passed the first test with ease and failed in the second one by no other than her own father. Kakashi used a very complicated genjutsu with his own magenkyo sharingan on her and stated that she was not good enough for the mission. The maddening part was he created a brutally slain image of himself, which was so real and shocking to Sakura that she recoiled her attack for ten seconds before regaining her compose to strategize her attack again. She was astounded by the fact that he actually created such a cruel illusion on his own daughter to stop her from going on a mission she wanted so badly. That was very low in her opinion. Besides, because she could not believe he would do such thing, for a fleeting moment, she was doubting her own sound judgment that maybe this image was real, hence the hesitance in her attack. Her dad was very displeased about this and said in real battle with an S-class criminal, she was long dead as it only took them one second to slide her head off. Not like normal time when she huffed and puffed and stomped away, he would follow her and appease her, this time he just ignored her and demanded her to act more mature before disappearing for this two-month long mission. She remembered that day when she was lying on her bed, pretending to be sleeping while she heard him prepare to leave. The sky was still pitch-black outside. If he intended to leave this early, it usually meant a mission he could not afford to take even a small misstep. She heard him approaching her bedroom door and waited there for a few pregnant pauses before muttered with his already deep voice:

"Goodbye, sweetheart"

He may have known that she was faking her sleep but she would not concede so easily. Not after what he had done to her. They did not talk to each for two days mainly because of her anger at him. She only rose when she was sure that he had gone. She just did not know he would be gone for this long.

* * *

"You know, he was kinda rational" – Katsuya finally said testily after a few moments of silence passed between them.

"What?" – Sakura snapped – knowing all too well what Katsuya was talking about but hanging onto her stubbornness for some more.

"You know what I mean, Kakashi-sama just made the decision based on your test result though" – even when Katsuya was normally polite and sensitive, he could be very blunt anytime Sakura acted unreasonably – a trait only the best kind of friend would do. She knew him care about her deeply but she was not in the best mood for a lecture now.

"Would you be mad if your dad used such genjutsu on you?" – Sakura retorted tightly, looking resolutely at the gate again.

That caused Katsuya to momentarily pause as if pondering the strange image of his loudmouthed dad as a cool and skilled genjutsu user: "My dad can never use genjutsu on anyone" – his voice climbed to a little higher octave. The image did not seem to fit in well with Sakura either as if Naruto and genjutsu were too far two spectrums:

"I know, but hypothetically…"

Thinking harder this time Katsuya concluded: "I guess I would. But the point is you never know what your enemy was capable of. What if they could create the same illusion? Will you flinch in your attack? It would be too dangerous in a real battle."

Heaving her chest in a long dejected sigh, Sakura nested her chin between her hands:

"I know all of this, Okay? It's just…he didn't have to go to that length, by the way, why are you always on his side, aren't you supposed to stick with whatever Sakura-neechan says?"

Glancing at the purple haired boy from the corner of her eyes with her infamous scornful look, Sakura tried to regain some well-established power over her little underling. But Katsuya was not someone who would back down when he felt like standing his ground:

"What? I just go with common sense. You are not that much older than me by the way, I should stop calling you Sakura-neesan"

"Hey, it was full 11 months, I'm 11 months older than you" – Sakura argued

"Not even a full year, we are basically the same age"

Swiftly moving her hand over Katsuya's head to ruffle his hair (a habit she picked up from her father to annoy the Uzumaki's kids just in the same way her dad annoyed her) to re-define her authority, Sakura smiled sweetly:

"Don't worry Katchan, you will forever be my otouto-san"

"Hey, don't touch me there" – Katsuya lightly smacked her hand away while shooting her a restrained intolerant look, causing Sakura to laugh lightly.

It was always relaxed to be with Katsuya, his maturity beyond age made her feel safe and comfortable to share her feelings with. Throwing quick look at the deserted gate again, Sakura let out another long sigh while crossing her hand behind her head:

"Why does it take so long?"

"You don't need to be that hurried to say sorry to him, do you?" – Katsuya teased

"Who said I would say sorry to him?" Sakura glared briefly at the amused blue-eyed boy – "it's just … I don't know..."

"Huh" – Katsuya's interest raised, waiting for Sakura to search for words: "You know when you argued with Fuuko and she ran away, even when you knew you were right, you were just so worried about her a little bit more than normal, weren't you?"

"But you were wrong though" – Katsuya pointed out matter-of-factly, which earned him a light smack on his arm from the pink-haired girl:

"Don't be a goody-two shoes! You little brat"

He just smirked at her then waved his hand defensively:

"Alright, I know what you mean, it was even worse because you are wrong then, but don't worry, they are…"

Before Katsuya had a chance to finish his sentence, his and Sakura's attention were snapped away by the sudden appearance of four people in Konoha's travel capes. Their aspect could only be described as distraught since they were extremely hurried to rush through that gate as if any second late would be detrimental. One of them was carrying someone in his hand. That person was no other than Sakura's father – the Copy Ninja while the bloody brown-haired woman on his hand was no other than Kurenai-sensei – the Asuma twin's mother. Having already bolted upright and sprinted towards the four older jounins, Sakura and Katsuya shouted out at the same time:

"Tenzou-Sensei"

"Otousan, Miyuki-senpai"

Instantly realizing who was there in front of them, the three conscious adults did not skip a beat in their rushing in their way to (very likely) the main hospital, forcing the two younger shinobiis to join their dash without asking for permission. As Sakura looked at her father tightly concentrated face, she did not see any joy in his eye when he saw her again after two months. Even though feeling a tad bit abandoned, the girl dropped her selfish thought quickly and asked her father:

"What'd happened to Kurenai-obasan?"

"I'll explain to you later Sakura. Is Tsunade-sama there today?"

"When I left two hours ago, baa-chan was still there"

"That's good" –still holding the bloodless brunette tightly, Kakashi glinted at her visage briefly before adding: "Hang in there Kurenai, we're very near" – Even when it was just a fugitive moment, his gaze was very gentle and concerned, a look Sakura never witnessed him giving to anyone except her. Something inside her just cracked open.

They reached the hospital only a few minutes after that and soon the emergency unit surrounded them and asked them question about Kurenai's injuries, to which Tenzou just answered shortly: "Ambush". Some yelling of "Call Tsunade-sama instantly"could be heard in the noise mixture. When one of the first-aid medic asked Kakashi to lay Kurenai down onto the wheeled bed so they could move her to the emergency room, he did it with so much care and tenderness while trying to murmur encouragement to the grimacing-in-pain brunette in a hushed voice: "Kurenai, we're here, you'll be fine". That was when Sakura realized the older woman had held on tightly to her father's shirt sleeve and refused to let it go when she was put on the bed. Sakura always did this anytime she was so sick and got injured badly in a mission. If her dad was there, she would never let him go even when she was in coma and could not really see him. Gently but decisively prying Kurenai's fingers off his sleeve, Kakashi said quickly:

"I'll be right here, just let them treat you first, Kurenai"

Blatantly reluctant, the long tapering fingers finally let go of the grip on the Copy Nin's shirt. As the medics started to roll the bed into the emergency room, loud decisive footsteps of a person who deemed to hold the utmost authority in this place echoed about ten metres away. All heads turned to regard her as green haori pillowing around her voluptuous build with each step:

"Tsunade-sama"

"Tsunade-sama"

"Tsunade-baa-chan"

"Sakura, stop calling me that" – snarled the seventy-one year old woman who looked like thirty five. "You've spent too much time around that Naruto brat again". To which Sakura just stuck her tongue out and quipped:

"You do allow me to call you like that when no one is around, Baa-chan" – even though mischievously stretching on the honorific a tad bit too long for Tsunade's liking, Sakura did cower when the thumping veins appeared on the fifth hokage's temple and her raising fist which was moving toward her head fast. She already knew the impact though. It was always a rough but gentle and loving ruffle on top of her head as anger dissipated around Tsunade quickly:

"Brat, who taught you to become so insolent?"

Her honey-brown eyes accusingly flicked toward the only person she was so sure of such deed, and immediately took on a strict hard stare:

"How long ago was that?"

"Around five hours" – Kakashi did not skip, instantly understood Tsunade's lighting-fast change of topic manner – "Miyuki-chan had healed the outer surfaces of the wound to stop blood loss, her chakra was emptied so that the best we could do"

"It's alright, you made it here fast enough. The rest is up to me and her luck"

Tsunade turned pat on her sandals without regarding anyone around any further while the medic team took it as a sign to keep rolling the bed inside. Soon the operation door gaped open and closed shut hastily, swallowing the five medics, Tsunade and the bed with Kurenai on it.

"Where are Ryoko and Ryota?" – Tenzou turned to Sakura and Katsuya's direction.

"They are on a mission about seven days ago, they should be heading back now" – Katsuya who was working as an apprentice in planning department and responsible for handing mission scrolls out responded straight away.

"I'll go and send emergency signal telling them to get back as soon as they can" – Tenzou glanced at Kakashi to receive a curt nod: "I leave the rest to you Kakashi-senpai", then the big-eyed man teleported away. Kakashi immediately took out a scroll from under his travel cape and fetched it to Katsuya:

"Take this to your dad"

The teenager boy received the scroll and looked at the Copy Nin for some more instructions. After a deliberate pause, he finally said:

"Tell him the mission was a success"

To which Katsuya nodded affirmatively. Quickly waving a goodbye to Sakura, the purple-haired boy made a beeline towards the exit which was closest to the Hokage's tower.

"Miyuki-chan" – Kakashi called out softly but his voice still held some patent level of authority: "You should go to have some rest, don't take chakra exhaustion lightly"

Miyuki's paleness was just slightly more colored than Kurenai, the medic's fatigued gait unsubtly indicated that she needed a lot more than just a short rest. She however remarked back at the silver-haired man:

"But Kakashi-san, how about you?"

"I'm alright, by the way, I have Sakura-chan here" – the ghost of a small smile crinkled his lone eye and that were all Miyuki needed to argue no further:

"Ok, take care Kakashi-san, good bye Sakura-chan"

"Bye, Miyuki-senpai" – Sakura waved at Miyuki. As soon as the black haired medic disappeared in the lift at the end of the hallway, the Copy-nin buckled down. A small but steady pair of hands came out of nowhere catching his arm through his travel cape to stop him from falling further:

"How many times you've used your kamui for the last two days?" – her voice was stern with a hint of rage.

"I lost count" – Kakashi obediently let the much shorter girl lead him into a vacant examining room nearby.

"And Rairiki?" – Sakura closed the door behind her with one hand while the other still grabbed her father's wrist tightly.

"7 or 8, I can't remember"

Dropping down on the bed's mattress, Kakashi let out a relieved sigh then turned sideways to glance at his daughter whose face was darkened with a barely-restrained anger. He gave her an amused smile and lifted his hand up to ruffle her hair:

"I'm here, right, don't be so upset"

Gently but insolently whacking the hand away from the top of her head, Sakura demanded:

"Take your cape off, I want to check the wound on your back"

Kakashi's smile widened under his mask as he unbuttoned the collar part of the cape:

"I can't hide anything from you, can I? Since when did you notice?"

"The way you carry her was awkward, and judging by so much difficulty when you lift your hand up" – She answered sharply while helping him to take the heavy cape off his shoulder.

"What else can you guess?"

"Kurenai-obasan's wound on the left chest seems to coincide with the position of your wound, it would be either you or she jumped in each other way to shield the other from a direct attack. But if she comes out this badly, I guess, it would have been her trying to protect you from an assail from behind. You did not suffer the whole attack but part of its force went through Kurenai's chest and injured you internally. Your enemy was the type who could utilize natural energy as well, wasn't he. To have such a powerful attack, he must be able to combine wind and lighting elements?"

Kakashi was impressed and very pleased at the same time to the point that he was so tempted to pat the top of her head again, but decided against it since Sakura would think of that action as more of belittling than complimenting:

"You're really good at…"

"Reading underneath the underneath, I know, dad" – finished his sentence off impatiently, the pink-haired girl tried to get her father out of his jounin flak jacket and his long sleeve top with the least exertion on his injury. When he was just down on his fitted shirt, she sauntered behind his back and rolled the back of the shirt up to his shoulder to reveal an angry bluish mark as big as her own palm. Gathering chakra to her hand, Sakura shuddered to feel this deceptively benign looking wound was actually running so much deeper into her father's body than her initial guess. She braced herself not to think any further if he had actually received the full attack. Deep down, she felt extremely grateful for Kurenai even though it was very selfish of her to think as such. But she could not hide the fact that her father's life was the most important to her. She would not stop to think for a second if she had to sacrifice for him.

Sakura closed her eyes tightly to visualize the complicated passages of damaged veins, muscles and nerve endings and connected them back together. Being her father's little medic ever since she was eleven gave Sakura an advantage in understanding his chakra and muscle system thoroughly. Besides, training with Tsunade-baachan since she was six gave Sakura a huge boost in chakra control and medical expertise. Together with her natural gift at that, only very few her age in Konoha or even faraway countries and territories could rival Sakura's chakra manipulation level.

After nearly an hour of detecting and healing, Sakura finally soothed away the pain and smoothed out the abused flesh. Her father was always a good patient who hardly ever winced and whined or interrupted while she was concentrating. Obviously not like Fuuko and Ryuuki. Katsuya was quite good as well but Sakura loved to exert more force on his wound just to rub his bravado off. Pulling his shirt down, Sakura tapped on the same spot where his wound was lightly: "All done".

Flexing his arm and shoulder blades experimentally, Kakashi let a lazy grin spread across his face:

"I'm really lucky to have my private doctor around, aren't I?"

"Well, you should take your private doctor with you every where if you really trust her ability that much" – Sakura remarked dryly

To which Kakashi went fleetingly still, then fixed Sakura an unreadable look:

"You are still mad at me?" – asked the Copy Nin evenly

Sakura was very tempted to say yes but reflecting on her conversation with Katsuya earlier, it sounded incredibly childish if she kept acting sulky. Sighing dejectedly, Sakura said:

"Miyuki-senpai was a good choice, she's a lot more experienced than me"

"You are a better fighter, sweetheart!" – Kakashi intoned gently, which earned him another confused stare from the kunoichi who seemed to ask "then why didn't you choose me" with her expressive eyes.

"Miyuki is a very capable medic and she wouldn't get affected by me as much as you would"

"What do you mean? You think I would be biased? Dad, I still have my professionalism, you know. And seriously, don't you think your illusion was a bit too much?" – Sakura retorted hotly.

"One of the criminals this time was a genjutsu master, he did not need to know what was your deepest fear, his jutsu could go deep into your psyche and dig out your biggest fear and make it so vivid. I know you were mad at me when I failed you, sweetheart, but I did not create that illusion, it was your own reaction when the jutsu was cast upon you. What you saw was what you feared the most"

"That's why you think I'm not ready" – diverting her eyes to the floor in a defeated posture, she whispered weakly – "You must have thought that I was weak"

Touching the upset daughter's shoulder tenderly to have her pay attention back to him again, Kakashi told her reassuringly:

"Sakura, facing your deepest fear is a very difficult thing to do, don't think any less of yourself, you're an excellent shinobii, darling"

"Dad" – before Kakashi could brace himself, Sakura moved forward to embrace him tightly:

"I really miss you" – she whispered

Stroking her hair affectionately, Kakashi smiled contentedly:

"I miss you too, sweetheart"

They stayed like that for a few moments until Sakura broke off to bore into her silver-haired father's lone eye with a knowing look:

"You took Kurenai back on time and Tsunade-baachan is here, so don't worry too much, she will be alright"

His large hand found her cheek and then suddenly turned into a light pinch:

"You've grown up too fast Sakura, one moment you were still crying in the cradle and spitting milk all over my face, the next you already know how to reassure your old father"

Swiping the hand on her cheek away while shooting Kakashi an annoyed look, Sakura grumbled:

"Very grateful of you to your private doctor"

Kakashi looked amused: "You really want to talk about being grateful? There was this pitiful man who was so poor and so old, but he devoted thirteen years of his life rising up this amazingly gratifying daughter who just jumped at any chance to bully him no matter how nice he was to her"

"Well maybe, he's not that nice to her then"

whacking Kakashi's arm to produce a loud satisfying smack rather than actually hurting him, Sakura scowled: "And you are not poor either, after so many years of shamelessly teaching me how to dump the bills on others and that two-thousands-five-hundreds-and-seventy-nine mission record definitely made you one of the richest shinobiis in the Fire countries."

Kakashi pulled his face to perform a convincing cheap look: "It's all for your education though, besides most of these missions were for free"

"The ninja academy is free and you dumped all of the bank statements on me and asked me to manage them ever since I was ten." – countered Sakura flatly.

"You see my point?" – Kakashi's suddenly looked so confident, making Sakura narrow her eyes suspiciously:

"What's point?"

"There was this pitiful man who worked so hard to provide his daughter a full happy life, but she would never turn down a chance to humor him or being mean…. "

Before Kakashi really had a chance to finish his sentence another loud smack with a lot less restrain erupted from his still tender shoulder. Kakashi slightly lost his balance, lunged forward and dramatically fell flat on his face on the floor. Panic struck Sakura as soon as Kakashi was in the middle of the falling, the little kunoichi kneeled down next to her dad to help him up while chewing her lips nervously:

"I'm so sorry, dad, Are you alright?"

Kakashi just cowered himself from her and feigned another oscar-winning terrifying look:

"And so violent too"

Sakura could never totally understand this man even when he was her own father. He could easily close his eyes to fight in total darkness and still managed to dodge the rain of shurikens and kunais throwing at him but when she was so much pulling the most basic trick of all time on him, he would fall for that. For a very long time Sakura thought that he just pretended to make her happy since she always burst out laughing at his comical clumsiness while she just cried a few minutes before over a dropped ice-cream cone or a lost kite. But from Naruto's stories, it seemed that he was always a klutz ever since he first became team seven's teacher or even before that. Sakura heard this rumour going among her friends at the academy that her dad was the coolest dad of all but she very often had to excuse herself to find a quiet corner to burst out laughing hard about such undeserved compliments. Even Katsuya somewhat sipped her dad and took it very hard that his real idol was not that cool after all. Sakura had a lot of pleasure in embarrassing Katsuya about his misplaced idolization, resulting in the boy always try to block out any negative comments about Kakashi-sama and turn a blind eye to his uncool behaviours. Unable to be irate anymore, the pink-haired girl just grinned brightly:

"Well, at least I do feel grateful for your teaching me all of these great ninjutsus so I can attack so effectively"

Still looking quite frightened, Kakashi shook his head lightly:

"I always know it's a double-edged sword, the worst idea was letting you train with Tsunade-sama"

"Too bad, you've been late for seven years, Dad" – Sakura grinned again. Pinching her other cheek, Kakashi could not help a smile either:

"Cheeky little brat"

It was always like this when her dad was around. Not only he was Sakura's most beloved person in the whole world but her favorite person as well. Sakura was one of very lucky few who were surrounded by love ever since she was born. Missions to far-away, war-torn countries with her dad made Sakura treasure her happy life back in Konoha more than anything. Even when growing up being more of a tomboy than most of her female friends, Sakura was still very fast to cry and strangely for an honorable and indifferent shinobii like Kakashi, he never once found her crying as a sign of weakness or criticized it. He indeed encouraged her to always be who she was and taught her from early on that being able to love was a very powerful weapon in its own right. Sakura hardly understood any of this when she was smaller but after her first really dangerous mission, she understood how much power she could have if she wanted to protect someone she loved so badly. As a result of these, Sakura could form genuine relationships with many kids at the academy or even allies from other countries. But no one in this whole world could make Sakura cry and laugh in a heartbeat and have a witty conversation with this much ease. Sakura had seen the interactions between her other female friends and their father, she silently realized that not all of them could have their dad as their best friend the way she did. Some of them were also candies in their dads' eyes like Sakura but they would always find their dad annoying and uncool or some others were just plainly afraid of their dads. With her friends, Sakura could feel that there was always a certain distance defining a daughter and a father boundary, but with her, thing was slightly different. Even though she did feel weary of her dad when he was dead serious, she did respect him and felt proud of him and found him annoying and uncool at times but there was something else she could never truly explain about the way she felt when she was around him. Something that was greater than her as if it had always existed there from before she could remember things properly. Was it because she was the only girl in this village who lived with a single dad? Most men just remarried after a few years of being a widow. She could only guess that his love for her mother must be so great that an attractive man like him (judging by other women's reaction around him) could stay single for that long. Sakura saw him turn down advances from beautiful women so that he could focus on cheering her up in her single or team sport competitions or some other times, he just wanted to enjoy a nice uninterrupted dinner with his daughter in a restaurant.

He basically spat water all over the table when she asked him if he was gay.

"Who gave you such an idea?" – wiping his mouth with the back of his hand after a few minutes of coughing with a face which still was not fully recovered from shock.

"No one" – Sakura shrugged (well she lied, Fuuko and Ryuuki actually inflicted that idea on her not so long ago and Katsuya as usual tentatively turned a deaf ear to any negative comments related to his idol) – "You never seemed to like any woman anyway, If you do swing that way, I just want to let you know that I don't mind having another dad" – Sakura resumed her eating, not failing to notice another shock on her dad's face. Correcting his throat a few times, Kakashi finally said:

"That's very considerate of you Sakura, but no, I'm not. I just always have other priority"

"I heard it's not good for men to stay single for too long"

Unable to defer another bout of choking and coughing, Kakashi looked at his daughter wide-eyed:

"Who told you all of this?"

"Sachiko- she said men who hide Jiraiya's Icha Icha series under his bed must be pretty desperate"

Kakashi basically turned into stone after this revelation. He thought he had been so careful. Making a mental note to whack the little blonde brat who was a perfect combination of the most flirtatious girl in her generation and the most socially inappropriate ex-Root member who never flinched to openly make ill-advised comments about other people even when he had passed his thirties, Kakashi tried to sound serious:

"Sakura, it's not very proper to rummage through others' private stuffs"

"It was not my fault when Pakkun wanted to hide under there to avoid a shower after two months" – Sakura looked innocent at best when a cold sweat was slowly rolling down Kakashi's temple. Another name was ticked for retribution in his mental note. Kakashi tried again hesitantly:

"Uhm, you haven't read them, have you?"

"No, I didn't, Tsunade-baachan had told me once that if I saw any of these books, just burn them away instantly."

"What have you done?" completely overtaken by anger and shock, Kakashi bolted upright from the dinner table and rushed to his room upstairs, with Sakura hot on his heels:

"Dad, chotto-matte"

Stomping inside his room and quickly performing a hand seal to lift the heavy bed up with ease, Kakashi pulled out the big box underneath, put the bed down and hastily opened the lid. To his tremendous relief, all of his books were all there. Sakura bolted inside the room just in time to receive an angry and confused look from her father:

"I'm never the obedient type, aren't I?" – she stuck her tongue out to tease him – "Well, the truth is I was very tempted to burn them but, I realized they are all signed copies, and Jiraiya-sama had passed away fifthteen years ago, I guess you must really treasure them" – she couldn't help a mischief glint playing on her lips and her eyes. This was gold. Sakura could hardly ever crack her lukewarm exterior this hard no matter how many pranks she pulled on him.

"Hatake-Sakura" – not good, he only called her that way when he was really mad at her. Sakura cringed as murderous aura exuded from the Copy Nin's posture.

"I'm sorry, dad" – she said quickly and tried to back away from the room.

"Too late" – Kakashi grunted before hoisting her up and pressing her to the floor. Saying that Sakura was terrified was an understatement. Folding her hands in front of her chest to cover herself, Sakura pleaded with a panic-stricken tone:

"No, please, dad, I said I'm sorry, no"

But she could no longer talk.

Her pleading was instantly turned into a fit of hysterical laughter as Kakashi tickled her mercilessly. Sakura squirmed and wiggled out of his touch to no avail since she was totally useless when she was tickled. This was her Achilles'heel Kakashi discovered ever since she was four and he kept it as a secret weapon anytime this little girl was too handful or tricky to deal with. Kakashi did not stop no matter how hard Sakura begged among her unstoppable chortles and giggles:

"Dad…oh my gosh…hahaha, please…I'm dyin…hahaha, no"

Sakura tried to kick and punch but they were all effectively blocked away by a much saner jounin who did not stop his hilarious but cruel torture. He finally stopped when tears started to form in her eyes' corners and fear that she may have died of enraptured nerves started to sneak up on the back of his mind. Lying face down on the wooden floor and gaping for life, Sakura murmured:

"You've just killed me dad"

"You reap what you sow, sweetheart" – Kakashi remarked with a sing-song voice, he smiled at her form.

Lying down there for a few more moment until her breathing was normal again, Sakura used her index finger to dab away some drop of tears threatening to roll down from her father's earlier "assault":

"So this is how you sort out your priority? You like fictional women than real women don't you?" – she turned her face up again to face him stubbornly pursue the awkward topic.

"It's not like that Sakura" – Kakashi sighed lightly, wondering how much of a pig-head she to Sakura, she did not really that scare of his tickling weapon – "by the way how old are you again? Are you of age to talk about this?"

Propping herself with one hand to sit up on the floor, Sakura protested: "I'll be fourteen in nine months, I'm not… "

"A child anymore, so I heard" – Kakashi finished her off with another amused look while the little girl just looked sullen because she got with nothing more to say. She had been very sensitive over this matter for the last two years. He knew that Sakura was way mature beyond her age because it surprised him very often how she could easily hold a lengthy interesting conversation (more like argument and debate most of the time) with him – an old man thirty one year her senior. But sometimes, she still acted like her age with her persistent pestering:

"Don't you feel lonely dad, please don't let me stop you from pursuing your happiness"

Kakashi paused for a second, then ruffled Sakura's head with the kindest glint in his mismatched eyes and a contented smile graced his lips: "My silly girl, I stay single because I still love your mum, besides, how can I be lonely when you are with me?"

* * *

"You can't hide from it forever, Kakashi" Glassy emerald eyes glistening with unshed tears, wrinkled nose bridge and contorted thin eyebrows releasing pent-up anger, and words piercing through his ears straight into the centre of his consciousness – all were directed at him to crack his mental fortress. He always knew she would be the death of him. Who said he was a strong man? He was weak and mortal. No matter how many times he may have successfully cheated the Death, he was just plain lucky. He also learnt it the hard way that no matter how smart and far-sighted you thought you were you would never be able to fathom the bottom of human's heart and their flickering emotions. The first idol in his life committed suicide since he buckled under the condemnation of the village and the comrades that he had spent his whole life protecting. He sensed his father's weakened mentality but hoped that he could pull it through but eventually he could not. He misplaced his trust on the dark-haired boy because he was his favorite and he saw a lot of himself in that brooding brat. He believed that the last Uchiha would not descend into darkness of revenge but he was wrong. He believed that his best friend Obito was a true hero whose legacy should have been passed through for the next generations of the Leaf shinobiis. Said man just sprang up after sixteen years, successfully becoming one of the biggest enemies in Konoha's history (or maybe the whole ninja world), having a dab hand at orchestrating the rampage of the Kyubi in his own home village and the fourth shinobii war because the silver-haired man failed to protect Rin – the only girl Obito ever loved. Fate did not seem to favour Kakashi much as a person because no matter what he tried, no matter who he trusted, it would ultimately find a way to distort that beautiful memory of these people and destroyed all of his hope, making him living in self-blaming and regret. Ironically, even when he became more cynical with hope and trust over the years, Kakashi never seemed to be able to give up on life even though it just constantly threw cruel jokes at him. Because he had seen better. He had witnessed beacons of hope through all of this seemingly eternal darkness of killing and hatred in Naruto, Yondaime-Hokage – his sensei, Sakura, Shikamaru, Jiraiya, Tsunade, his other best friend Guy, Tenzou, Asuma, Guy's student – Rock Lee – and so many others he did not name – people who never lost sign of what was important to them, people who have a big heart and found it so much easier than him to open up to someone else, people who did not suffer from dual personality syndrome.

It was a cliché to say that some people were born with light-nature in them while others were prone to darkness but it was indeed a precise description to some extends. Kakashi was the funny one that stuck in the middle, having both light and darkness characteristics – a perpetual loner who were so easy to gain attention and likings from those around him; a skeptical believer who could not trust people so easily but once he trusted someone, he could give up his life protecting that person; a selfish and selfless shinobii who valued teamwork more than anything but would have abandoned it in a heartbeat if he had seen any opportunity to complete the mission alone at his own expenses; and ultimately an overtly high achiever, independent thinker, smartass who very often thought of himself as trash whose existence was just to make one mistake after another. The only thing he could do was to groom Naruto, Sakura and their friends into honorable shinobii who did not generate another cycle of hatred and revenge the same way his generation had to suffer. His students had lived up to his expectation until this happened. In his wildest dream, he would never think this could happen. Especially not with her – the only team-member he trusted would never cause any trouble because she was smart and clear-headed. Especially not the kind of trouble that he could never know how to deal with.

The heart-related trouble.

Once again, fate always had unexpected and unwelcomed twist in store for him to make sure that his life did not lose the movie-like drama it maliciously enjoyed. Since when it got into her silly young head the idea of falling for an old man fourteen years of her senior, he did not know. Since when he noticed how she had been mature into a fine kunoichi with an intriguing fearsome beauty that he always instinctively favored of, he could not remember. He just realized only when it was too late for both of them to do anything to stop this wrong feeling. Well, at least it was wrong in his viewpoint. She did not think so. If anything, she did not fence herself away from her own feelings. She did not run and hide after she knew for certain what it was. She said she could not lie to her heart the way he did. She loved him and wanted to pursue this love.

Now she was here, standing in front of him and demanding him of his conclusion, stopping him from evading as he had done for the last six months:

"Why me, Sakura? Of all people" – He asked silently into the night, his deep voice did not lessen the tension between them, rather just stretching it further.

"I'd asked myself that question so many times too" – angrily wiping her tears away with the back of her hand, Sakura regained her control and bore into the Copy Nin's lone eye again: "but I'd never found the answer myself. I guess because it's not really important."

"It is to me" – He smiled sadly at her – "I don't think you know what you've got yourself into Sakura, I'm thirty years old and you are sixteen"

"Seventeen" – she corrected him with an unfaltering look.

"Seventeen" – Kakashi let out a short caustic laugh then heaving a deep sigh – "You're too young to know any better, one day you will just realize how silly this whole thing is" – his hands shoved deeper into his pants' pockets

"Don't give me that crappy maturity lecture" – She swung her arm sideway as her fingers balled into a fist: "It has nothing to do with age, I can see the way you look at me Kakashi" – her voice trailed off in a much softer tone as she unable to maintain her gaze at him.

Green eyes diverted sideways as if searching for the right words then back to him again with so much longing and affection he could not deny how affected they were on him from inside – "I'm not blind, Kakashi, please don't say that my feelings are silly. You don't know any better either because if you did, you wouldn't run away from it for the last six months." – She paused to register that he was shifting uncomfortably although his face remained as inexpressive as ever. She wasn't fooled by his false composure anymore: "You're scare, aren't you? You're scare of it just like I am. I'm terrified about it but I can't help it. You're just stuck in my mind and it hurts me a lot being ignored by you" – she did not leave him much room for argument because she was right.

This bizarre unprofessional development in their previously platonic relationship frightened him to death. It would be so much easier if he could just really laugh her foolish crush off. But he could not because it was not one-sided. He was weak. And she had no idea what she had put him through. It pained him tenfolds shunning away from her and increasing their distance. It took all of his self-control to ignore her love while they were always too close to each other being in the same team one mission after another. Maybe he was too lonely and she was just too beautiful and passionate. He did not know but the first time when he recognized that she did not look at him as Kakashi-the teacher anymore but Kakashi-the man, something inside him stirred up and quickly spiraled out of his control. Her simple touch on his body when she treated his wound was harmless before now burned his skin with unwanted desires. He said her crush was foolish but it was nothing compared to the fact that a thirty year old man got all worked up by a simple touch of a seventeen year old girl. He was dirty and pathetic and this girl did not let his secretive lust die down. He wished it would just be lust. But it was not. Lust would not last this long. Lust did not create this hollowness every time she was out of sight. Lust did not sting his heart keenly anytime he had to walk away from her and he knew she would cry and her stares would burn his retreating back. Lust did not make him want to spend every waking moment to make sure that she would smile a true and happy smile. He did not lie that there was lust somewhere along the line. He did not lie that he wanted to ravish her, eat her lips, leave hickies all over her flawless skin and make her moan his name in ecstasy over and over. But if it was just lust in the first place, there would be no self-control and self-torture as well. Because he knew it: only love would hold lust back so that this animal instinct inside him would not ruin this fledgling enchanting creature who deserved so much more than just a scarred and broken man. Closing his eyes tightly to retain the last remnant of his terribly weakened willpower, Kakashi's face turned heavenward for a few moments then finally his gaze settled back on her face with a feigned calmness he had been convincingly wearing for his whole life:

"I'm a man after all Sakura, and you are young and willing, it's just lust, nothing else"

Sakura went completely still after that and her wide eyes just bore into him for what seemed like eternity. The moonlight reflected the unfathomable sadness and disappointment gradually creeping out from the bottom of her mirror-like pair of eyes as if they could be shattered any moment with overflowing despair.

"_Please don't cry" – _He silently told himself. Because if she cried he may not be able to stop himself from rushing there and crushing her in a tight and inseparable embrace. It was only so much that you could do to deny yourself of your true love. There were only two times in his life Kakashi would intentionally use his words to hurt someone deeply so that they could give up on him. The first time was when he disregarded Rin's feeling because he thought of himself as worthless trash, who did not deserve her love and Obito's sacrifice. The second time was sadly not any better. After sixteen years, he still did not think he was good enough accept the love of another girl. But if his blunt words could get rid of Sakura's silly infatuation now, even when it hurt her now, it would still worth it. One day she would understand this was a good decision not getting together with a man like him. He would just bring her down like all the other dearest people in his life. The girl in front of him seemed to fail in the emotion-controlling struggle because when she spoke, her trembles were unmistakable:

"Liar, I know it was not just lust, I know you have feeling for me" – she ground out as her whole small frame was shaken with anger then two sparkling streams of tear smoothly rolled down her cheeks. He was losing this battle fast and hard. There was only very little he could do but he would not stop right now. He had not tried his best:

"I don't love you Sakura, and I never will"

Sakura's knees could not support her weight anymore as she crumpled down on the ground with a sound thud, face deeply burying onto her upturned palms while pink hair curtained around her hidden visage. Her shoulders trembled with difficult throbs as hard, short sobs came out from the back of her throat jerkily. It was heartbreaking seeing her like that. He never realized how small and fragile she was. But he had to do what he needed to do. It was a good thing that she did not see his hand automatically shoot out trying to reach for her when she collapsed on the ground. It would just send out unwanted confusing signals from him again if she saw it. "_It is all for the better" _– he reminded himself again while retreating his hand back from mid-air and shove it to the bottom of his pocket. Slowly turning on his heels, Kakashi resolutely walked away:

"Goodbye, Sakura, find someone else who loves you as much as you love him"

The sobbing still followed his ears even when he already walked away from its source for a long time, as if it already embedded itself inside his subconsciousness to anguish him every waking moment. Suddenly:

"Kakashi" – a much deeper, calmer voice called out his name from behind. This voice did not sound like Sakura in the least. That made him stop and turn. Kurenai's smiling face came into view while a small flow of blood was dripping down from the corner of her scarlet lips. Her deep crimson eyes looked at him with myriads or unsaid affection as she held onto his back protectively:

"It's good that you are alright" Slowly the smile slid off Kurenai's lips and her eyelids became heavy, letting comatose engulfed her as a whole. Her body went limb on Kakashi wide-open arms while the scenery around him suddenly morphed into an unrecognizable distorted space of black and red. With Kurenai lying still in his embrace, the sobbing in Kakashi ears just intensified tenfold. He looked over Kurenai's shoulder, the small form of Sakura was still there, shaking and crying while darkness was slowly swallowing her…


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter two**

* * *

"Dad, wake-up, the operation has ended, Dad, wake up"

The hand on his shoulder was shaking him more urgently while his brain was having a hard time registering the sudden change of landscape around him. After a few failed attempts, he was finally able to crack his eye open a bit more as Sakura voice became clearer every passing second:

"Dad, you've been sleeping for four hours, do you want to see Kurenai-obaasan?"

Kurenai – the name rang through his ears like an alarming bell. Right. She was badly injured trying to protect him. He needed to know if she was alright. The last memory he had was his daughter healed him in vacant examining room, they chatted up and he felt immensely better than he had felt for two months. With all of her quirky mischief, his little daughter seemed to be the only person who could make him really feel happy for the last thirteen years. Then they walked out of the room to sit on the bench in front of the operation room since he really wanted to wait to hear Kurenai's operation result. His recollection stopped there so he must have drowsed off due to chakra exhaustion. Groping around the bench to get a pivot to propel himself up in a sitting position, Kakashi pressed his palms tightly against his eyes to get rid of the remainder of the sleepiness. His brain was still switching back and forth between the dreamland and reality as picture of Sakura collapsing on the ground crying was intertwining with Kurenai's bloodless face and the cold bluish white hue of the hospital walls in a mess of uncoordinated memory fragments. Why did he have this dream now? He had not had it in years. But now was not the time to think about it. Kakashi opened his eyes again to zoom-in another pairs of sea-green eyes. Sometimes it started him how much similar they were – Haruno Sakura and Hatake Sakura.

"_Silly, of course they are alike because they are…"_

"Dad, are you ok? Still don't feel awake enough?"

Before Kakashi could finish his own thought, his attention was snatched away by a hand waving in front of him.

"Hmn" - Giving a slight grunt hanging habitually in his throat, Kakashi shook his head a few times then slowly stood up – noticing the headlight on the top of the operation room's door was off, black eye turned to search for green ones:

"Where is she?"

"They just moved her down to recovery room R452 in second floor. She's still in comatose"

Catching the instant glint of worry in Kakashi's eye, Sakura spoke quickly:"The operation was successful. It was extremely lucky that the attacker missed her heart by five centimetres. Tsunade-baa-chan says she will be alright, but she really needs a month of intensive care."

"That's a good news"

Kakashi raised his left hand to cover his closed eyes and his forehead and let out a deep relieved sigh. He stayed quiet for a few seconds, still feeling amazed that his daymare was actually not a bad omen of some sort. Then finally removing his hand, Kakashi started walking towards the stairs while Sakura tagged along:

"You heard anything about Ryoko and Ryota?"

"Tenzou returned briefly after you fell asleep and said that they had received the emergency signal and will be here very soon"

If he missed all of this during his sleep, he must have been completely exhausted or deep down, he would have felt totally at ease with his daughter around to the point that he could just let his guard down like that. If Sakura did not reassure that Kurenai would be alright, Kakashi really shuddered to think about the deadly injury she had suffered for him. Walked down the stairs and turned a few corners to reach room R452, Kakashi was suddenly stopped by Sakura right in front of said room's door:

"Dad, you can go in and visit her, I just want to get you some food ok? You haven't eaten anything all day"

All the anxiety must have rendered Kakashi's ability to feel hungry because he indeed did not feel the need to eat even when the last time he ate something was more than twenty hours ago. Giving Sakura a curt nod, Kakashi's hand reached the door's handle:

"Ok, thank you, sweetheart"

Leaning in to give the little girl a peck on the forehead, Kakashi turned the door handle to gently push the door open while Sakura just turned and walked away.

Once inside the room, Kakashi's chest was suddenly tightened by the lifeless form of the dark curly hair woman. If not for the weak thumping noise coming from the ECG machine hooking up to her pulse, Kakashi did not believe in the least that this was a successful operation. Pulling the chair to sit next to her bed, Kakashi gazed at the paler shade of an ordinarily very pale face. At least she looked peaceful enough to let him know that she was not in pain anymore. At forty five, Kurenai still managed to be one of the most beautiful women in the Konoha. Ninjas were usually staying youthful much longer than civilians thanks to their constant physical training and chakra conditioning. It was no surprise that Kurenai and he both looked around thirty something. But the special thing that really made Kurenai's beauty stand out among Konoha's endless list of beauties was her womanly charm. She always seemed to be calmer, more mature and mysterious than other female friends, which made her almost irresistible amongst hot-headed juveniles with uncontrollable puberty. When they were younger, she was always one of the most sought-after dates in his generation. The attention only ceased when she official got together with Asuma at twenty-five even when they had been secretively dating since they were eighteen. A few years after Asuma's death, Kakashi had witnessed her reject many suitors because she did not want anything else rather than raising Ryoko and Ryota up properly. Although having some inappropriate thoughts at times about an attractive curvaceous female friend like any other male teenagers, Kakashi never really got affected by Kurenai's beauty that much. Haruno Sakura was more like his type: smart, sharp, straight forward and fierce with a hint of clever sarcasm in her speaking. Kurenai to him was a precious friend because she was one of only very few friends that still survived with him until now. Kakashi had lost almost all of his comrades from his generation, the ones who graduated from the same Academy with him: Hayate, Ebisu, Asuma, Raido, Izumo, beloved Rin and Obito, over nearly thirty nine years of his shinobii career. Anytime he heard the news or witnessed a friend pass away, somewhere in his heart, a hole was poked, and no one else can fill in that vacancy he saved for that only person anymore. There was thing that no matter how many times it happened, you just could not get used to it. His silent mourning to his heroic friends never ended and he knew Kurenai would feel the same way judging by the fact that she never seemed to recover from Asuma's death even after fourteen years. Thus he was completely thunder-struck when Shizune and Genma revealed that Kurenai was actually pinning after him for quite sometimes now. They felt sort of angry with the fact that he remained so clueless while in their opinions, he and Kurenai would make a great couple. Maybe being normal friends for so many years made him lose all of this sensitivity for her romantic feelings. Or maybe, sometimes things just did not mean to be that way.

Kurenai would be far from a bad choice to a man like him but the problem was already there when he called her a "choice". If he really had had feelings for her, he would not have called her a "choice", wouldn't he? After the eye-opening incident with Genma and Shizune in the bar that night, Kakashi did notice that Kurenai was actually treating him differently from other male friends. He did not understand how he could be so blind with all of her endearing acts towards him before. For a man who claimed to be able to read underneath the underneath, he was just too ignorant with the "heart" matter. Or maybe, his mind had always been occupied by his little daughter to care about anything else. For the last thirteen years, he did not pay much attention to women even when he knew he could easily pick up a pretty face around this massive village or foreign countries during his missions. Most of the time Kakashi did not feel the need to because he still missed a certain pink-haired girl so keenly that no other woman seemed to be able to fill in that void. But being a man (gay or straight) meant you were biologically programmed to have sexual needs and sometimes, maybe your hand and distant memory of your only love who passed away so long ago just weren't enough. He needed a warm body, a real woman to somewhat relieve this painful urge. Usually, he would leave the house after little Sakura fell asleep to go to a late night bar with plenty of lonely attractive women around. It was his first policy that Kakashi would never take a woman back to his own house whether his daughter was home or not. It was not that he felt guilty but his house with his daughter was inviolable. His sexual partner was just there for one night stand, no string attached, he have no interest in telling her about his private life and she did not need to tell him about hers either. Just simple as that. His house with little Sakura was an oasis built with love and trust and memory of Haruno Sakura, it belonged to just three of them and another being was just mere annoyance.

Besides, his daughter did not need to know about this side of him when she was this young. She would learn it herself when the right time came. Puberty and Sex were always an awkward topic for someone as private and stoic as Kakashi. He was already handful with his daughter's questions about women and men's body structures, let alone this secretive sex life of it was too complicated for a little girl to understand about all of this adults' crap. For so many years, he did not even need to keep his emotion vacant around the women he picked up on rare occasions as there was always nothing there in the first place. He did not even feel that satisfied after all these late-night ventures. Only emptiness surrounded him waking up to an unknown woman who did not smell like her or look like her in the least even though most women he seduced would have petite frames and green eyes.

To make the matter worst, they usually had to correct their name to him when the whole thing was over. Some nice women just reminded him of their real names and it made him feel low for treating them that way. Some just made a fuss over it and turned him off completely. In both cases, Kakashi knew he was the only one at fault. It was stupid and embarrassing when the only female name he could remember in the heat of the moment was always only one word with three syllables - "Sakura", and nothing else. How could that be healthy? Definitely not. But Kakashi was destined to be born as a very sad man, he could not let go and could not forget. While he looked strong and undefeatable on the outside, in the inside he was just a man of the past, who always lived with reminiscence and was hard to make him love anyone but once his heart held a certain person, it just did not have room for another anymore. It was pathetic for a man like him who always made the same mistake over and over again. He always thought that he knew better, and what he decided when the situation called for was the best measure, but it all turned out to be worse than he expected. Maybe because he always tried to disregard his own feelings and made verdicts based on his single view of the matter rather than consult with the people who were involved with it as well, that was why he always ended up regretting not giving himself or his beloved a chance to really decide things together. But the maddening part was knowing himself, if he could really turn the time back, Kakashi being Kakashi may still have ended up doing the exact same thing.

Now she was lying there motionless because of him. He knew what was coming - Another big decision that weighed on him like a ton of bricks. He did not really know what he should do now when he knew for sure that Kurenai was just not having a crush on him – you just did not go jumping in the middle of a bloody battle to receive a deadly attack for someone just because you like him – she was in love with him. As a gentle and calm person, Kurenai was as discreet about her feelings as Kakashi but in the same way, her sentiments would run so much deeper than what it may have shown on the surface. It was not the first time someone fell for Kakashi without his knowledge, it was definitely not the last time he did not know what to do either. This time was somehow unlike the other two instances. If he had to choose, it would seem to be a lot easier. He ruthlessly eradicated any option he would have the first time when it happened to him because he absolutely believed that he was trash who did not deserve to be loved. It was not even a choice to be opted. The second time was just too devastating because he wanted to choose so badly but he could not. It was just a malicious joke from heaven when his only female student fell in love with him while his favourite male student had always loved her for years. He chose to back away and it later ended so tragically that it turned into another biggest mistake in his life. This time, he had no guilt, no pressure, no moral dilemma to answer to. Kurenai's husband – Asuma – one of his close friends had passed away fourteen years ago and to her children, she had been the best mum anyone could ask for. He was a single dad and her very close friend. They had known each other for forever. A perfect situation in which people would just shower them with encouragements just in the same way Genma and Shizune did. The only problem this time was his emotional state were not there yet. He respected and liked Kurenai as a friend. He never really harbored romantic feelings for her before so it felt oddly discorded if he decided to start on a relationship with her would never be the type who forced his feelings to twist into a certain direction because he felt indebted to someone and from what he understood of Kurenai, she would not be happy to be treated that way either. She would not need anyone to pity her.

A whiff of breeze suddenly blew away the window's white curtain and fanned on his skin coolly, making Kakashi tore away from his muse to check over the window's edges to the hint of the village's scenery spanning silently under the dusk's lights. It must be around half past or six. How long had Sakura gone? It seemed to be about an hour but Kakashi was not so sure considering his tendency to skip time when he was so deep in thought. He stood up slowly to fully turn to the view over the window, hands habitually dug inside his pockets. The Hokage's monument loomed over buildings and trees, casting shadow to one sixth of the village's area. Kakashi could not help a light amused frown forming on his face anytime he looked at Naruto's sculpted face up there. Maybe because of his young age when he became the Rokudaime, or maybe because of his incessant arguments with the chief architect that he wanted a good depiction of his characters rather than a framed austere look that the architect had to follow in carving the authority face of Konoha, the result turned out to be unintentionally funnier than it supposed to be. Rock did not do anyone justice thus Naruto's smiling face beside grim visages of his predecessors stuck out like a sore thumb. Also because rock was just so used to being somber and serious, Naruto's wide grin up there just displayed this hint of anger as if he had been suffering constipation for days. Well, but Naruto, as usual, being very ignorant of subtlety and art was happy with the result so everyone was fine by it eventually.

Konohagakure had changed a lot during his life span. Even though the main historic centre part remained the same with the Hokage's tower stood out resiliently for more than two hundred years despite countless times of reconstructions after endless wars, the village had expanded three times and become definitely more prosperous than any other previous eras under Naruto's reign. His eradication of many backward customs, ageism and prejudices throughout the village had made shinobiis and civillians' life so much more breathable. Together with Shikamaru as the head strategist of military and diplomacy while Kakashi was head of all jounin and ANBU operations, they agreed on building up a democratic regime when shinobiis of all levels could have a say in any important matter affected the village by voting system – an unprecedented move that never existed in the shinobii's world before. When it was first initiated, the old-school power of the village was totally against it, arguing that this would weaken the village beyond repairable. But Shikamaru, Naruto and Kakashi all understood that they were just so fearful for losing their grip on utter control over all Konoha's shinobiis. Nothing made the senility more terrified than the idea of free will and things that entitled it. But Naruto was so adamant that the greatest power in life lying in people's heart and in a village where people felt happy because they could make their own choices, that village would become invincible. People would treasure the precious peaceful life here and did their best to protect it while the world out there was still raging with wars and conflicts. After nine years being the greatest and most beloved hokages of all time, Naruto had proven to everyone that his way of ninja was right. The village became more powerful because people's will were united not because they possessed a powerful weapon that could destroy the enemies and themselves in an instant. Naruto's anti-vengeance and lenience policy towards other rival countries also contributed positively to the recovery and restructuring of the Ninja world after the Fourth World War. Every now and then there were still raising powers of bloodthirsty and power-hungry warlords or criminal organizations but because of the better cooperation between different hidden villages and countries, their espionage and terrorism attempts were deferred long before it could become an irrepressible problem such as the Akatsuki.

Another event that shook Konoha's old bums to their core was the fact that the youngest head stategist in Konoha's history got married to the Kazekage's older sister- Temari. The unlikely friendship between the two hokages of Konoha and Suna had been scorned upon by these wretched heads for years but then having an elite kunoichi live within Konoha's walls was another confidentiality threat that they could not take. But once again they were proven wrong after witnessing the stronger bond between the two villages and Suna's eager support in Konoha's peacemaking efforts. Being a skeptical believer, Kakashi in all actuality did not believe in a happy ever after because he knew history would just find a way to repeat itself. Great civilization rose and collapsed, peace time intertwined with war periods like two string of the same rope, constantly fighting each other for dominance for eternity. Naruto had surely changed the course of history and created a golden era for Konoha but whether the next generations of rulers and shinobiis could carry on that legacy was another story. It was not to say that Kakashi felt depressed or pessimistic. On the contrary, he understood that life was always about fighting for the better. One should not be disappointed if a great empire crumpled because it would be a great opportunity to fight again for the better. For now being the teacher of the great Rokudaime could be counted as the second biggest achievements for a forty four year old Copy Nin, couldn't it?

His biggest achievement in life was surprisingly so much simpler. No grandiose ambitions, no heroic feats, no aura of great triumphs during the span of the last forty something years could make Kakashi consider as a greater thing than this one just because none of them had made him truly happy the way he was feeling anytime he thought of it, or her to be more precise. Hatake Sakura. Living with little Sakura for all these years was irrefutably the happiest time in the Copy Nin's life. This was the first time he did not live just for Konoha but for another being as well – a small delicate and beautiful being that needed his protection and love. A being just grew up rapidly and gorgeously under his care and guidance – Hatake Sakura had bought meaning into his lonesome life again. It was an unspeakable happiness when you had someone waiting for you, worrying about you and you felt the same way when that person was not around. All the time they shared together through thunder storms of sub-tropical islands in the Land of Lighting, blizzards of the freezing northern territory in the Land of Water and shaitans of uninhabitable deserts in the Land of Wind burned in his memory vividly. This small little girl always followed him, trusted him and loved him unconditionally. Her tiny hand would always hold up to his much larger one as they walked through perils and deaths. Internally, she would probably be terrified when he asked her to take a big risk jumping off the burning bridge so that he could catch her as she was acrophobic, but in the exterior, she would just look resilient and fearless just because she trusted him completely. Sometimes he did think that, if it was for his little Sakura, he didn't mind standing up against the entire world just to protect her.

And all the simple things they did together like shopping for grocery, fishing, three-legged racing for school sport's day, dressing up for summer festivals with colourful yutakas, goldfishes, puffy candy-floss and thundering firework just added to the endless list of fond memories he never imagined he could have if little Sakura did not exist in this life. Sometimes the happiness was just so overwhelming that it scared him subconsciously. What if it did not last long. How could a man whose life was plagued with loss and sufferings ever since he was born like him have such bliss? He always knew he was a selfish man. One day his daughter would fly away from his hands like a full-fledged bird leaving its parents when the time came. One day she would be swept away by her own goals and passion. He could not keep her with him forever. It would be a bitter day but he could stand it if she still came back to visit her poor father occasionally.

How long did he still have until that day? Would he feel the unbearable loneliness again he had felt for years before Hatake Sakura happened to him.

A soft murmur put an end to Kakashi's daze as he rapidly turned to the source of noise. Kurenai's eye brows knitted together in a pained expression as she tried to move and open her eyes.

In two strides Kakashi was next to her bed. He gently put his large hand on her shoulder and called out softly:

"Kurenai, I'm here"

The eyebrows were twisted again for a few seconds then curly eyelashes started to wink rapidly:

"Ka…Kakashi" – her voice was rasped.

Ever so slowly, ruby eyes cracked open with difficulty because of the intruding late afternoon sunlight.

Taking in the infamous facial details of a certain Copy Nin – droopy dark grey eye and scared red one, silver-haired and maskless face seemed to reassure the dark-haired woman tremendously. Lifting her hand up to touch the side of his face, Kurenai smiled weakly:

"Are you okay?"

A pang of uncertainty fleeted through Kakashi's head as he was a bit shied by her affectionate touch, they were never like this before this incident. But whatever Kakashi felt from inside, he did not show it. Then tentatively, he touched the hand on his cheek and smiled at her:"I'm ok, I should be the one to ask that question"

"I'm…fine, I'm glad that you're alright" – Her struggling voice betrayed her external calmness, deepening Kakashi's guilt. As tempted as he was to say she should not have done that for him because he was not worth it, Kakashi held it back simce judging from his past experience, people would just take him for an ungrateful bastard although he did not mean it. Kakashi always had a hard time trying to fathom why these women fell for him of all people in the first place. They would be better off without him. But again, it was not up to him to judge how a person should or should not feel. Unconsciously lingering his touch on her hand, Kakashi released a contented sigh which spread his lips a little bit in a passing smile:

"Thank you, Kurenai"

"There's no need, you'd definitely do the same thing if you were in my situation" – Kurenai responded with an absolute certainty in her eyes. And Kakashi knew it was true. He could die to protect any precious comrade but there was only one person he actually wanted to live for. Kurenai's hand slipped from his cheek to the side of her bed. Kakashi instantly realized that she was trying to get up so he tentatively propping her back up and rearranging the pillow so she could comfortably maintain a sitting position:

"Thank you" – Kurenai smiled again while carefully shifting some more to adjust to the new posture.

"You should rest some more though" – the worry pinched his nose-bridge but Kurenai just ignored all of that in her gentle but decisive manner:

"I don't want to feel too useless, if Ryoko and Ryota come back any moment, this will just worry them sick"

Admire would be an understatement to describe how Kakashi felt about Kurenai sometimes. She was one of the best kunoichis in Konoha and definitely one of the best mothers as well. She was always gentle and sensitive with the twin's feelings while still being able to be tough on them when discipline was needed. As a result, Ryoko and Ryota were groomed into proud and excellent ninjas at such a young age – a feat that not many parents could do let alone a single mother (not that Kurenai chose to be that way).

Whatever she felt for him must have been recently since for many years, Kurenai totally ignored her own happiness to devote her life taking care of her son and daughter. Understanding how Kurenai feel that way, Kakashi let her be:

"It's nearly impossible to hide things from Sakura, she would just figure it out straight away if I'm injured or not" – He revealed ashamedly

"Well, it's hard to hide anything from the best medic under Tsunade-sama, Kakashi. That little thing is an excellent kunoichi, I'm surprised that you'd made a good father, Kakashi"

She teased him but unable to grin because of the pain on her still tender chest. Kakashi chuckled softly:

"I don't have a lot of good-father material, do I?"

"Well we didn't believe so at first, but you turned out to be a real jack of all trades. You could physically fight and wield a weapon effectively, cast jutsus, copy it, invent it and teach it and now being a good father too. Just like when we were at the academy, it was irritating trying to catch up with you, arrogant genius – Kakashi-kun"

Kakashi knew that Kurenai was always an inborn charmer since she could be so good with words, complimenting him but at the same time sarcastically criticizing him. It was a smart tactic to keep the conversation light-hearted and interesting.

"Oh, really?" He quirked an eyebrow to fake his innocence – "I always thought that I was the quiet, modest, hard-working type that everyone could feel related to back then"

"On the contrary, Kakashi, let me refresh your memory, people were usually pissed off by your blunt remarks and superiority attitude." – Kurenai was doing a good job of acting out Kakashi's smugness postures when he was small by folding her arms in front of her well-endowed chests and tilting her chin up at an angle.

Kakashi's smile widened as he rubbed his neck nervously:"I wasn't very popular back then I guess"

"Not with the boys" – Kurenai responded so quickly that a hint of blush tingled her cheeks automatically after that.

"Girls dig bad guys, don't they?" Kakashi remarked coolly, surreptitiously trying to salvage the conversation from awkwardness.

"You're not even the slightest bad, Kakashi" – Kurenai's soft gaze diverted back to his onyx eye, light orange sunlight settled down on her face, making her beautiful features glow – "If you were, I would never feel this way about you"

Even when it came out quite naturally, Kakashi could not help feeling his stomach lurched with uncertain discomfort. It was no use dancing around the topic or tried to avoid it. Kurenai had made it abundantly clear the moment she shielded him away from a fatal attack. The smile slid off his face as he seemed at loss for words for a few moments, unable to decide what to say. Deciphering his silence as a hesitance, Kurenai went on with her deep voice, her gaze still fixed on him with knowing tenderness:

"Don't feel indebted to me that you have to rush to make a decision Kakashi. It's unfair on you, and a forced feeling would never work out"

It would be easy to have a life with someone like this – mature, wise and smart. They shared more commonalities than Kakashi would ever take notice of. But then without any warning, a pair of reflective green eyes with fierce stare and abysmal sadness, a shock of pink tresses resembling the cherry blossom colour flashed through his mind, making Kakashi understand how unready he was still. Forcing himself to abandon the thought to go back to the present ruby gentle eyes in front of him right now, Kakashi tried to restrain a sigh and decided to be truthful, she deserved to know his candid feelings:'

"Thank you, Kurenai. I have to be honest with you, this is all new to me, I don't really know what to do, so do you mind giving me some more time?"

Kurenai took it calmly enough but she could not hide a tint of disappointment there under Kakashi's close observation, her hand even clutched tighter to the quilt cover:

"Don't get me wrong, Kurenai, you're all anyone could ever wish for" – it was extremely discomfited coming out from its own mouth as Kakashi had never said that to a woman before, but Kurenai's subtle saddened look had tugged his heart, pulling the right nerve for a tongue-tied Copy Nin to give out such compliment.

But before he could save anytime to recover from his slip of tongue, Kakashi was mortified by the second astonishment as a pair of warm lips pressed on his and faintest smell of femininity entered his nostrils. His rational minds were swept away as his brain stopped functioning for a brief four or five seconds. The lips on his now nipping lightly at his lower lip asked for more. Slowly he realized that it was after all just a kiss and he was long overdue to be a love-struck teenager, Kakashi relaxed into it and his hand curled up to the side of her face touching her soft hair.

"Crack"

The noise startled him and Kurenai as well as they hastily separated and turned to look at the door where the noise was unmistakably coming from. Another clamor of a certain object got thrown on to the cold hard tiled floor was heard again as the slightest hint of pink-hair was swept by and disappeared while running away footsteps echoed the hallway:

"Sakura" – Kakashi bolted upright, Kurenai was wiped out of his mind in a jiff but right at that time Ryoko and Ryota barged in:

"Mummy" – they cried out at the same time and rushed through her in the shortest amount of time and encapsulated her in a tight overwhelming embrace Kurenai's look was filled with tremendous happiness as she smiled at her two angels not minding their overbearing demeanor even in the slightest even when her body still needed a lot of delicacy:

"Ryoko, Ryota"

The twin seemed to be at lost for words as they cried silently onto their mother's shoulders, Kakashi quickly picked this moment to make his retreat:

"I let you guys have sometimes alone then"

To which, Kurenai just nodded lightly as a hint of longing formed in her soft gaze. Trying his best not to inconsiderately rush out of the room in search for his daughter who may have had a few wrong ideas at the moment, Kakashi calmly strolled toward the door. Lying on the ground was a piece of wood which looked just like a part of a door which was ripped off by a monstrous strength. The splinting dent on the door uncomfortably confirmed his theory. He hardly saw Sakura expressed such burst of anger on inanimate objects. She was always a very gentle kid even when she did have a temper which was quite harmless most of the time. A scowl twisted his brows, he should fix this up before anyone could unnecessarily see it. Rapidly picking up the piece and clasping it back to where it belonged, Kakashi casted a low level wood jutsu copying from Tenzou on the door, it healed itself back instantly, making itself look intact as if it had never been vandalized in the first place. Close the door behind him with a sound click, Kakashi realized the familiar basket Sakura always used to pack his lunch in it right next to the door's foot. Picking it up he started to stride hastily out of the hospital towards his house direction.

* * *

Seeing Kurenai kissing her father – Hatake Kakashi shocked Sakura into utter silence. From deep inside her heart, something was shattered as if a solid wall of steel and cement was fractured by a savage internal force to set a monster free. An ugly and resentful monster she did not believe that it had existed within this thirteen-year-old girl, it was just a plain fact that her dad was hers. Or that was what she had always been thinking for so many years. She was the only person who could be so close to him. She never meant "being close" in the same way Kurenai was doing with her dad now but Sakura always thought of her dad as an untouchable man who paid no attention to normal women. He devoted his life to be a Konoha's guardian, a war hero and being her dad. He was not an ordinary man who was held back by mediocre things such as love and women (well, even when it was hard to classify this gorgeous kunoichi who was kissing him at this very moment as anything mediocre). Putting Konoha aside, her dad belonged to her. No one else. Did he also mean that a few months ago when she tricked him into believing that she just burned down all of his books? He did not need anyone but when he just looked as shocked as Sakura judging by the stiffness of his shoulder and the awkward silence ensuing from that kiss, he did not make any attempt to stop Kurenai or move out of her reach. Slowly it all came to his senses that Kurenai had just locked his lips with hers, Sakura's dad was short of relaxing into the kiss and his long fingers which only pat her hair lovingly before now treacherously moved to touch the curly black lock of that woman as if it was natural to do so. She never felt this exasperating before. The scene laid out in front of her eyes was so gauche and foreign, just like a thief who just broke into her house, messed the whole place up, destroyed all of her favourite stuffs then conveniently drowsed off on her bed. She did not know why she felt that way but Sakura did feel extremely violated. Kurenai had no right to touch her dad like that. She had no right…

A loud crack jerked Sakura out of her angry trance and her eyes instantly snapped at the broken pieces of wood, which used to be part of the door she was hiding behind this whole time. The noise seemed to interrupt the two other people in the room as well as they both broke off their kiss and turned to stare at the noise source to figure out the unwanted audience. Embarrassed and irritated with being caught red-handed stalking and not being able to control herself, Sakura threw the useless portion of the door hard on the floor, set the basket of dinner down at the door uncaringly and ran away as fast as she could before meeting her dad in the eyes. Sakura did not really know which way to go but she just wanted to run away to some other places to clear her head and calm herself down. This newfound anger was petrifying. It made her blood boil with very uncomfortable sensations.

She was not so sure why she felt that way but she could feel there was something wrong about how she was feeling now. When she told her dad four months ago if he wanted to have someone else, she had not imagined this was how she actually reacted when he decided to have another important person in his life. It was not even Sakura's idea for that conversation in the first place. She was just overhearing Hinata talking about her father with Ino – Sachiko's mother one day that her dad must still have missed her mother a lot to the point he still stayed single until now. Then Sachiko, Fuuko and Ryuuki's weird suggestions about how lonely her dad must have felt given that he was a pervert in closet with all of those Icha Icha books had made Sakura suddenly concerned how she may be the reason he could not find anyone else. Being a burden on him would be the last thing Sakura wanted in this world. But apparently, she had not really understood the weight of anything she said that day because now she knew she did not want to share her father with anyone. She just wanted to be his only important person and anyone came between them could be expandable in her messed-up mind.

When she saw him being so gentle and protective of Kurenai when they came back this morning she felt tiny unpleasant but the moment she saw the kiss, an unprecedented hatred towards Kurenai suddenly coiled up in the pit of her stomach. That startling discovery stopped Sakura mid-way. She never felt that way about anyone and before all of this, she was sort of admiring Kurenai in a way. And who would not admire a stunning kunoichi with genjutsu talents and an air of mysterious nobility around her? Sakura was sure she was not the only female ninjas who looked up at that older black-haired lady. Even when Sakura's goal was to become someone as magnificent as Tsunade-baasan, she still respected Kurenai a lot. Her liking towards Kurenai also stemmed from Sakura's relationship with Ryoko and Ryota who had been excellent comrades for five missions they went on together. Also, being her senpais at the academy, the twin were very eager to give Sakura hints for her chuunin exams or show her new techniques they picked up from their own operations. She always harbored a fondness for that family until now.

Was it normal for Sakura to feel this angry with Kurenai and her dad? This was not felt right but she could be mistaken. Maybe other girl would feel the same way if their dad was with another woman. She needed to find out.

Sakura decided to backtrack two more corners and turned on Shinpachi street leading to Yamaka florist's. Soon the auromatic scent of fresh flowers filled her nostrils and the colors of hydrangeas, bluemoon roses, peonies, tulips, wisterias, azaleas, jasmines, daisies and chrysanthemums dancing in front of her vision. Sachiko was right in front of the shop carrying a bucket of pink lilies inside the shop. It was their closing time now:

"Oh hey, Forehead, you came to help me close down? That's nice of you!" – Sachiko grinned at her slightly out of breath friend who seemed to forget to enjoy the flowers like she usually did when she came here before:

"Pig, I need to talk to you?" – green eyes bore into dark black ones with very rare seriousness.

"What" – raising her eyebrow suspiciously, the blonde deadpanned : "Don't tell me, are you pregnant?"

"SACHIKO" – Sakura growled irritatingly as her hands curled up into fists – "Don't you see how troubled I am?"

Sachiko may have wanted to argue further but decided against it as she put the bucket down next to the glass door and yelled to the inside:"Mum, I'll go and talk to Sakura for a while, could you finish the rest for me?"

"It's ok, I won't be that long though" – Sakura hastily added but Sachiko just held up her hand to stop her as a mischievous glint flashed over her eyes:

"It's important matter" – Sachiko yelled again.

"Ok, be back before dinner though" – Ino yelled back to her daughter.

"Alright" – Sachiko's smile widened as her slack-off plan had worked perfectly, making Sakura feel used but she did not have time pitying Ino-obaachan about cleaning up the shop alone though.

Sachiko turned to Sakura and said:"Old place?"

"Ok" – Sakura nodded then they silently strolled over to a playground a few blocks away from Yamanaka shop, where they usually came to play hide and seek before the ninja academy.

The sunset was already imbruing the playground with hot orange hue while long shadows of the slides, swings, water fountains, trees and bushes, was casted on the ground to create a typical beautiful dusk canvas. Quacking sounds of lost birds echoing from the mountain ranges surrounding the village added just the right musical note to the scenery. Sachiko usually threw pebbles at any unfortunate bird passing by her way as she detested their ominous sound but today, these birds were the least of her concern. Fortunately, there was no one on the playground at the moment, which was opportune for a confidential talk between two best friends. Settling down themselves each on a swing, the two girls propelled lightly against the ground to take a small fly. More like Sachiko swinging, Sakura was actually sitting there silently with hands clutching to the swing chains and eyes staring intensely at the ground as if there would be a Lilliput about to crack out from the earth any moment. Looking expectantly at her brooding friend for a good measure of five minutes while tried her best to keep her mouth shut, Sachiko finally prompted as her patience ran dry:

"So…"

Still no sound but the green-eyed girl's fingers seemed to be a fraction tighter on the chains insinuated that she was collecting her thoughts to say what ever was troubling her mind at the moment rather than completely forgetting about her blonde friend.

"I just saw Kurenai-obaasan kissing my dad"

Sakura blurted out eventually after failing to put the matter down lightly.

Sachiko just shrieked:

"EEEKKK,REALLY?"

Her voice was more excited than disturbed as a curious smile twitched her lips:

"Open mouth? With tongue? I want the details"

"Sachiko" – Sakura snarled loudly, eyes throwing invisible daggers at the blonde, did not care to keep the fuming out of her voice – "Seriously, why do I bother telling you anything in the first place"

Taken aback by Sakura's snappy mood ever since they met up, Sachiko's eyes widened and her mouth was very ready to spew out a series of verbal assaults then suddenly catching on the whole thing, the blond narrowed her eyes instead:

"You aren't happy about it?"

That put Sakura in utter silence again as her face turned back to the ground with hair hanging down covering her whole face. This posture of the roseate-locked girl just exuded an awfully upsetting aura as if she was engulfing her whole body in a self-made black hole. Sachiko was too used to this being friend with this girl from before she could remember things:

"What's wrong, tell me, Sakura"

"I hate it" – she snapped quickly – and this time Sachiko was really worried. Sakura never said she hated something in the way that she really meant it like this time. Sachiko guessed her father's vague manners had rubbed off on her pretty hard for all these years since Sakura hardly ever showed an extreme sentiment toward anything in particular.

"I just felt so angry when I saw them together, I don't know, so I just run out of the hospital. I couldn't even face him" – hands held so tight to the chain that her knuckles turned white.

"Sakura…" – the blonde whispered, unable to say anything smart-assed like she usually did.

"Sachiko" – decisively turned to gaze at her best friend again, Sakura asked carefully;

"Do you feel that way about your dad? Would you be angry if he was with some other woman?"

"Next to my mum? Of course" – Sachiko responded, puzzled by the question.

"So you're also really unhappy if He went out with other woman?" – Sakura questioned again with a hopeful voice.

"Yeah, certainly, although he's such a creep sometimes but he belongs with my mum, doesn't he? I wouldn't stand it if it's not my mum he is with. I guess because she's my mum and he's my dad so I'm happy that they are together" – Sachiko shrugged with her hands wide apart, explained thing as if it was so obvious. Unknown to her Sakura' face just got grimmer, her voice just became too quiet as if she just talked to herself:

"So you don't want him for yourself at all"

"What are you…" – Sachiko thought she may have misheard her best friend as bewilderment came over her face but before she could finish her sentence, a deep calm voice cut through their conversation:

"Sakura"

Sakura reflexively raised her hand up to cover her squinting eyes as the person who called out her name was backing against the flaming sunset. Soft dark grey one looked at her with so much gentleness that he never gave to anyone else. Only her. He was always having this way to look at her as if she was the only one in the world who mattered to him. For so many years, she took that look for granted until today. A hard lump rose to her throat as a burning sensation stung her eyes keenly.

_She really did not want to share him with anyone. She just wanted him to be with her forever and ever_

A stream of tear involuntarily rolled down Sakura's cheek while her gaze was fixated on the masked face as if the world around her has disappeared into oblivion. Even Sachiko worried tone next to her ear:"Sakura, are you alright?" seemed to be from a very far away place.

She could only dimly remember the jounin vest shift forward towards her through the blurred vision than quiet authoritative voice told her blonde friend:

"Sachiko, you can go home now, I'll take care of Sakura-chan"

As he gave her a dismissive smile, Sachiko nervously glanced over to the pink-haired girl who went completely still on the swing seat to search for some permission to stay. Finding none, the blonde rose to her feet and said quickly:

"Ok, Forehead, I'll talk to you tomorrow then, good bye Kakashi-san"

"Bye Sachiko-chan" – Kakashi replied without even looking at the Yamanaka girl, his eye was busy boring into an unattended face of a certain rosy-haired girl. Crouching down in front of her, Kakashi pried her hands away from the grip on the swing chains and held them in his much larger ones (she did not seem to want to put up a fight):

"Hey, sweetie, Who made you so upset?" – He smiled at her with his usual crinkled eye, his voice sounded relaxed but in honesty, her teary eyes squeezed his heart tightly. He could easily distinguish her sulky teary face from a deeply disappointed one. The one she was having now was definitely the latter.

"Don't get married to Kurenai-obaasan, Dad" – the words were blurted out of her mouth too fast that Kakashi had to restrain from asking her to repeat herself again. But he knew he did not mishear it at all. Sakura looked like she meant every word of it. The pleading tone was also palpable.

"I think you may misunderstand something, Sakura-chan" – Kakashi tried to smile again but before he could add something Sakura snapped at him accusingly:

"I saw the way you looked at her, do you like her Dad?"

"I…"- _Does he like her? _It was too early to say anything. He did feel grateful to Kurenai and he did see her differently ever since this incident. He was not sure himself but the way Sakura was acting now was more in the centre of his concern than anything related to Kurenai. The most important person to him was obviously not his hesitancy as a sign of agreeing that he actually liked Kurenai, Sakura lowered her gaze to the front of his vest again and wriggled her hands out of his:

"So you do like her…"

said Sakura though it was not easy for a little girl to witness her father kissing some other woman, Kakashi was still a little bit confused by Sakura's tantrum. He did not think she would react this intensely considering she was always a very mature and thoughtful kid. Maybe he overestimated her ability to fathom adult's business when in all actuality she was just a thirteen year old girl. Raising his hand to lightly bring her face up to his eye-level again, Kakashi bored into the jade pupils darkened by sadness:

"Hey, young lady, I never say anything about wanting to get married to anyone, don't I? By the way why are you so upset about the whole thing"

"I…" – now it was her turn to be faltering, unable to hold her father's gaze any longer, Sakura glanced anywhere but him then an idea just suddenly struck her: "You said you hadn't forgot mum, didn't you? And you said you don't need anyone but me" – She lied shamelessly – Sakura did not really care about her long gone mother. This sounded horrible but she would just shove that moral concern of hers to the deepest part at the back of her mind now. What she said now seemed to be a pretty good reason to counter her dad's dangerous question.

A bittersweet smile touched Kakashi's lips – this little girl was still having her childish quality for sure. She would not understand all the weight of her words on the others. Pinching her face lightly again, Kakashi intoned gently:"I will never forget her, silly head, and yes, I just need this cheeky demanding girl all the time"

"Really, you don't want to get married to Kurenai-obaasan?"Her eyes were practically brightened with delight, Kakashi was always surprised by how much she could communicate and how many emotions she could express in this pair of illustrative emeralds. If his face was permanently unenthusiastic, Sakura's would be a hundred sided mirror with so many different levels of expressions and mood ranges. Another trait that she inherited straight from Haruno Sakura – a lovely feature that Kakashi used to adore so much. Chuckling heartily, Kakashi could not help pinching her cheek again for a good measure:

"Look at this bipolar little girl, weren't you just crying a few minutes ago? Kurenai and I were just friend, I do feel grateful to her, and that's all"

"She didn't ask you to pay her with your body, did she?" – Sakura narrowed her eyes at Kakashi's explanation, making him knock her lightly in the middle of her forehead and an amusing and angry scowl twisted his eyebrows:

"Don't you watch too much soap opera, brat? Again, are you of age to watch them?"

Rubbing her sore spot Sakura pouted lightly:"That was what happened, wasn't it? You have to get married to her because she saved you?" – her voice sounded all the more worried now.

"Sakura-chan, there's no such thing as a wedding for gratitude between me and Kurenai. We are just friends who know each other for ages and I'm not marrying anyone, you happy?"

A big dazzling smile spread her lips as she hurled her arms around Kakashi's neck in big hug:

"I love you dad, and I'll never leave you, we will always be happy together"

Taken aback by her words and overflowing sentiments, Kakashi paused for a few moments then finally he reciprocated her hug by placing tiny consoling pats on her back:"I love you too Darling, but you just say it now, in a few more years, you can't wait to move out and start your own adventure"The embrace on his neck was tautened by a fraction:

"No, I won't, I just want you, dad, no one else, adventures with you are the most fun"

"I know, I know" – Kakashi conceded finally as a warmth feeling filled his chest again. He knew little Sakura had no idea what she was talking now. They could not be together for ever no matter how much he wanted it to be and how much she thought she wanted it to be. When she grew up she would just forget about her words today and soon there would be her own path she went on and another important person appeared in her life to replace him. If magic did exist, Kakashi would wish for her to remain small forever so he could always see her around and take care of her. But that would be against the course of nature and against her own will. Kakashi could not think that he could ever do anything to make this little angel of his unhappy. So for now, even when all the affection in her words today would fade one day, he still felt uttermost happy because for now he was the most important one in her life – the irreplaceable one. For now it was enough.

* * *

TBC


End file.
